Oh god it's everywhere

On a whole, the north east cycling scene has had it pretty easy when it comes to inclement weather. hell, the first really rainy, horrible, muddy, wet, disgusting race of the season for me happened last week at beacon 'cross. it was kind of a blessing.



Since I missed dressing up for a Halloween CX race this year, i decided to do it a week late and blame daylight savings! Tony, Kyle, and I drove to Beacon last week with my Mario suit expecting a total shit show, and I for one can say that I wasn't disappointed. The Beacon race was one of the harder races of the season. Maybe it was a combination of the rain, mud, huge steps, and sand traps, but i was completely thrashed after that race. I practically needed a step ladder to get up those amphitheater steps! for some reason I'm guessing that the stairs in Ryan Trebon's house are about that size. Good for him, not so good for Baldy McShorty over here...



My performance at HPCX the next day was a joke. my new goal in CX racing has gone from trying to place to trying to not let Andrew Crooks lap me...




I'm a big fan of technical clothing- spandex/roubaix/dryfit is awesome. Denim, while tough, is also a great fabric to wear in the rain... In oppositeland. The rain inundated my Mario overalls with so much water that i felt like a bloated pregnant woman. i was carrying at least 15 lbs of extra water weight, and was craving rocky road ice cream with pickles... The denim also stuck to my legs and made it quite hard to pedal. That being said- dressing up as Mario for a cross race when its not even Halloween is plain awesome.

Fast forward to this weekend- the USGP at Mercer. last year this was a pretty fun course, with a huge pit and a fly-over. the race was wide, sweeping, and fast. The weather was generally agreeable and it was a great time. This year it was a completely different race. it was like we were racing in Portland.



I've been saying all year that i wanted to race in horrifically muddy conditions, and I got what i asked for. The best way I can describe the last two days of racing is by using the term "Mud Bukkake." I mean, it was everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I mean, look at Jed- Someone get him a moist towelette or something...

photo by Anthony Skorochod

Day 1

photo by Anthony Skorochod

After a late start due to me getting rides from hungover people (cough, cough Slokar), we just barely made it in time. As we pulled up to the park, the C race had started. I noticed people running on flat sections. It was that muddy. People were completely covered in mud, and it was windy and rainy, but not that cold. I quickly slapped on my skinsuit and ran to staging. i got there just as they called my name- 3rd row, not to shabby! I looked around and saw the normal cast of characters that had made this season so fun. This was the calm before the slop-storm.

The whistle went off, and it was the usual mad dash for the start line. I had an ok position going into the hole shot. once we entered the course, the mud started right away. Last year the fly-over and the long sand pits were the challenging parts of the course. This year, they were the easiest parts. (note the "oh shit" face)

photo by Anthony Skorochod

Every other part of the course was inundated with mud. You had to plant your ass as far back as you could and just slog along.




I ended up DNFing thanks to ex-C field sandbagger Sam Fiorno... i crossed the line and the official indicated that i had 1 lap to go. Sam was just ahead of me. as we rode into the course again he said that they pulled him from the race and that we were done- I was as eager to do an extra lap as i was to get intimate with Star Jones, so I didn't argue. Lo and behold, we both got DNF'ed. that's too bad, because i was in contention for 40th place... This is serious, man!



The aftermath of the race was hilarious- we all looked as though we went spulunking in a septic tank. i had to hose my bike off twice just to get it clean.



I was so muddy from slopping through the mud like a pig that my chamois was covered in it when i peeled off my skinsuit (kind of like taking the skin off of a weisswurst).




And yes, I'm like 80% sure it was mud. shut up.


after cleaning off, we ran to a fantastic NJ Diner where i tried scrapple for the first time. The best way i can describe Scrapple is that it's the Foie Gras of New Jersey. It somehow manages to be both delicious and horrific at the same time...




After our trashy, delicious feast, we made a beer stop and rushed back to the race. We had some 'drinkin to do, people to heckle, and, oh yeah, Fliers to hand out for the Kick-ass CX race that's happening on Nov 30th!

when the Elite men came on, we were 2 six packs into some Belgian-style Tripels. For some reason our buddy Phil bought a UCI license... He stepped it up and played with the big boys in one of the hardest races of the season. I think that warrants a beer hand-up...


Sure, Shaking the can of Bud for 5 minutes and then opening it in his face as he rode by may have been a bit douchey- but you know what? That Phil Riggio is a CHAMP. he grabs the can from me, pours the rest on his head, CRUSHES the can on his helmet, and rides away. That, my friends, is Pro as shit (.dk)



Day 2




I didnt think it was possible, but somehow day 2 was worse. it was 40 degrees with 30 mph winds, and there had been ANOTHER torrential downpour on sat night. The ground was even more inundated with mud. it was so bad that the race organizers cut the course in half because it was "unrideable." What was considered "rideable" was pretty comical...

But first, I'd like to point out how important it is to properly embrocate before cold races. it's an important ritual that ever CX'er should hold sacred. the rub-down of embro on one's pale legs is essential to any decent CX experience. And if you're Croatian like Tony, you probably like embrocating your eyeballs and gums.



By the way, This week's Embrocation and Chamois cream was brought to you by SportsBalm (review to come).




As we waited in staging, 35 mph winds whipped around us and made the whole B field shiver. We knew what was to come. this was going to be miserable. why were we all still here? We could have just gone to brunch! But no- we were all standing there in spandex skinsuits, freezing and waiting for a whistle to blow so that we could bike and run through a giant pig pen wrapped in caution tape. Why?




The crux of this sport is suffering. Not just suffering due to self-imposed exertion, but rather suffering through pitting yourself to a tough environment as well as other people. You're not just racing other people- you're fighting your surroundings. Mud swallows your wheels and bogs down your bike. Barriers and run-ups block your way and make your life all the more difficult. But everyone in that field is pushing themselves as hard as they can- not just to try and best their peers, but to overcome the course itself. A good number of people didn't finish on Sunday. But everyone who did finish pushed themselves to their limits, and I think that's where the satisfaction lies in this sport. I think its easy to be complacent in a road race if one wants. It's alot harder to do so in a 'Cross race.




racing on Sunday at Mercer was akin to biking and running through a mile-long turd-covered slip'n'slide. Every part of this course was grueling and treacherous. it was slow and painful, and full of slop. It was the hardest 'cross race i've ever done. It was also the most satisfying.




After Tony had had enough of racing throug the slop, he decided he'd have more fun by throwing beer at me and heckling me for losing to a triathlete...




I guess i really wanted a muddy sh*tshow for the very novelty of it. the after-shots of muddy races are fantastic, and it just adds to the difficulty and drama of 'cross. that being said, slogging through mud makes a race exponentially harder. It's completely saps your energy. you grind through slop at 3 miles per hour, pedaling at 35 rpm. A friend of mine who was watching yesterday said it was the slowest cross race he had ever seen. the mud was so thick on most of the flat sections that you had to run them.



As we drove back from a mud, beer, and scrapple filled weekend, I became a little sad that the cross season is nearly over. This year has been more fun than I've had yet, and it wasn't just because of the racing: it was because of the friends that I've been racing with for the past two months. Everyone has been having fun and riding their bikes without pretense or elitism, but competing. I can only hope people carry over some of that attitude into the 2009 road season, because it'll make it that much better.


By the way, for all you NYCX'ers- I'm organizing a CX practice on Wed, Nov 19 @ 530 AM- meet at the entrance to the park on 72nd and 5th. we'll do a warm up lap and then do drills on the northwest side of the park near Harlem hill. You know you want to. Anyway- Balki will be there- how can you say no??

'Tis the Season to be 'Crossy

Racing road since march has started to take its toll on me. after 6 months of silly cat 4 crashes, watching people sprint for 30th place, and not eating bacon, I'm ready to take a break from skinny tire racing for a few months. I know I'm not the only one. It seems like Green mountain sucked the life out of most road racers (myself included) and now everyone wants to relax, drink a few beers, and enjoy the fall.

By "enjoy the fall", of course, i mean take a zipcar to New England every weekend, ride a cross bike in circles until you can't see straight, get covered in mud and blood, drink belgian beer, and ring cowbells.

After the green mountain fiasco (that's going to need it's own entry), i didn't even want to look at my road bike. what better time to take out the 'cross bike, bring it over to cadence, buy some new parts, and have it ready to go for the upcoming season? call it cat 4 retail therapy.



I wanted to give some new canti's a try, since my avid shorty 4's did as good a job at slowing me down as Britney Spears did at parenting. Jed @ cadence recommended the new TRP Eurox's; they're traditional canti's that look like Empella Frogs legs. I slapped on some green swiss stop pads, and I've been really happy with how they stop and control speed. That being said, they were squealin' like pigs when i first got them mounted. Traditional Canti's are a pain to toe in correctly...

the guys at Cadence also wanted me to try out the new teflon-coated cables. they're super slick and really reduce friction- We'll see how they hold up through the season.

This week marked the start of training for 'cross; We hit up a Dave Jordan coaching session on Wednesday, and then a teammate and I decided to organize a cross "boot camp" Saturday morning. It was either that or crashing in a prospect park field sprint...





Boiko, myself, and two Sid's guys showed up at 6:45 am hit up the riverside park just south of the GWB. at that hour no one is around, and there's a fantastic circuit you can do that emulates a 'cross course really well. Boiko also brought the PVC barriers he made. We did some mounting and dismounting drills, barriers, stair run ups, and a few race pace simulations. we all had a blast and it really pumped us up for what's to come in the next few weeks. It also gave me a chance to hone my wicked barrier jumping technique. (hint- always go for style points)



We'll probably be holding another 'cross boot camp in the next few weeks, so stay tuned. By the way, I'm really pumped at how more people are getting into 'cross.


On Sunday I either had the choice of doing a Time trial in 90 degree heat, or doing a 'cross race in 90 degree heat. either way, win-win right? If i had to equate my TT'ing to a martial art style it would probably be the formidable "flatulent sloth." I've quickly realized that the only reason i do TT's is due to the guilt i feel for having bought a TT bike. that, and the sadist in me likes scaring the public by donning skin suits...

Boiko and i drove over to good ole' Macungie, PA for the 2nd round of the Bear Creek CX race. i had heard from Jed that yesterday's course was SUPER muddy and technical. the mud was peanut butter, and the race organizers had really outdone themselves with this hard, technical course. did i mention it was 90 degrees for some reason? i didn't get the memo.

This course had everything- deep mud traps, super-tight switchbacks, lots of loose gravel, a muddy run up over a huge pipe, and of course barrier that was meanly placed in the middle of a small mud trap. glorious.

I made sure to have a good starting position. when the whistle blew, i clipped in quickly, and stuck with the top 3 right off the front. It's hard, but getting that good initial position is really essential to doing well- especially in a technical course. It's also important to always ride straight through puddles at fulls speed.

photo by Dennis Smith

I stuck with the top 3 for most of the race. I almost forgot how fun and painful it is to go all out for 40 minutes. your body is maxed out- all you can think about is breathing and pedaling. TT's may be an all out effort, but its a linear, progressive effort. the effort put out in a cross race is much more erratic- there's no recovery. If you're catching your breath, you're not going fast enough. there's also that whole running and turning bit. half of a 'cross race is avoiding obstacles. some races almost feel like the temple of doom. Maybe they should start using huge boulders at races to mix it up a bit...

on the final lap, i was going head to head with one guy for 4th position. we went back and forth- and i had a good feeling that i could beat him. after the final barrier jump i was ahead, and wanted to keep the speed up. there was a small mud trap right before we hit the asphalt. i went through it too fast and ended up making out with the asphalt. Score!

i somehow managed to bend one of the front brake arms below the rim of the wheel- if effectively jammed the front wheel, so i started running. After about 30 seconds of running, i was able to rip the brake back out and i rode to the finish. I still finished 8th and was pretty happy with that.



Eventually I noticed one guy roll into the finish with his saddle and seatpost in his hands. apparently it had snapped off mid-race and he FINISHED THE RACE WITHOUT A SEATPOST. That man deserves an award. Or at least a massage with a happy ending.

Boiko rolled through the finish- his facial expression was a mix of pain and awe. He'd just done his first 'cross race and got totally shelled. and you know what? He had a blast. And that's just the beginning.



Mud, blood, barriers, Run-ups, Beer Tents, Belgian beer, new jersey diners, and Cowbells are here for the next three months, and I couldn't be happier.

I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more COWBELL- Cyclocross race in Augusta, NJ

After taking a break from 'cross racing last weekend in order to take the LT test, I was eager to get back to it.

I was ready for more pain. I was ready for more fun.

I was ready for more cowbell.

The Augusta race was the last of the NJ cross series. I've participated in about 3 others, and thought they were fantastic races with well designed courses and a warm, welcome feel. All of the courses had been very well designed, and each race was a completely different experience because of it.

Upon my arrival, a thick fog had descended over the course. This, of course meant it was much colder than it would be later in the day. the C races always go first, and that normally means they have to race in colder (and sometimes crappier conditions. Isn't it funny how that works?

The temperature was in the 40's while i was on the bike. aside from my feet, which were numb by the end of the race, I felt fine.

I had a chance to spin my legs out and warm up, which is so important on a cold race day. I got to chat it up with a few new and familiar faces. You end up seeing many of the same people for most of these races, which makes for a more friendly and familiar feel.

As we waited for the start, the race organizers thanked us for coming out, and invited us to all come back next year for another great cross experience. I'm looking forward to it.

Once the whistle was blown, the bunch sprint started. I knew this was going to be a faster course than usual, so I decided to put a little more energy into the starting spring in order to vie for a better position.

I stuck with the pack for a good while until it spread out, but was happy with my placement. It's a delicate balance between putting enough energy to be in a good spot and blowing yourself up too early.

The course was indeed fast; there were some nice descents that allowed you to get a good bit of speed. however, with descents come rises. and run ups.

After the first lap, i started to feel it. I concentrated on keeping a steady rhythm and choosing the best lines through the turns. there were a few slips here and there, but no hilariously awesome crashes to report (unfortunately, i know...)

The pain train went on until i heard the bell lap. One of my goals for this race was to not get lapped. I saw the leaders making way, and I started to push it harder in order to avoid getting spanked. I was able to hold off and complete the full five laps. I had a strong last lap, and was able to pass a few people. I ended up coming in 36th out of 54. A little better than each prior race. A good end to a good race.

My back and my lungs were killing me, but i felt good (in a terribly painful sort of way.) My obnoxiously green steed was with me the whole way, and took some solid pounding without complaints. I'm yearning for a more solid wheelset, however (I'm lookin at you, 2007 Ksyrium Elites...)

Big ups to Patrick Clifford, who's been rocking the C- races all season. he came in second this week and was first at Jamestown. Super talented guy, and really personable. look out for him. and a Super big thanks to my buddy Tom for snapping most of these shots. Thanks for comin out buddy!

In my limited experiences with cyclocross (five races),I've noticed that a wonderful paradox exists: Pain and fun. Is it the fun that brings us pain? or is it the pain that brings us fun?

I might be getting a little too poetic here, but I think that anyone who appreciates the concept of suffering on a bike knows what I mean. We jump on these marvelous two-wheeled inventions, and we go out there to suffer. reallly suffer. We want it. It makes us better.

I'm reminded of a quote i read a while back about the relationship between pain and cycling:

"To be a cyclist is to be a student of pain....at cycling's core lies pain, hard and bitter as the pit inside a juicy peach. It doesn't matter if you're sprinting for an Olympic medal, a town sign, a trailhead, or the rest stop with the homemade brownies. If you never confront pain, you're missing the essence of the sport. Without pain, there's no adversity. Without adversity, no challenge. Without challenge, no improvement. No improvement, no sense of accomplishment and no deep-down joy. Might as well be playing Tiddly-Winks."

-Scott Martin

If being a road cyclist means one is a student of pain, then being a 'cross racer is akin to taking the honors courses. It's intense. It's and hour of solid sufferocity. you don't have too much time to contemplate it like you would on a climb a few miles long. You push yourself to the brink, and keep it there until you can't bear it anymore. That's usually when you encounter a muddy run up or a set of barriers. @#$@%^.

When it's all done with, a sense of peace and accomplishment comes over me. regardless of what place I came in. As long as I finish. That kind of pain is cleansing to me. out on that course, the last thing on my mind are my neuroses, romantic problems, and dissatisfaction with life. I guess you could classify what we do as a form of escapism, but the difference is what we do isn't destructive. It's beautiful.


and muddy!