Shake and Bake

Here we are, boys and girls- It's already mid August, and the road season is almost over. This year's season ran a bit long in the tooth and by July I felt about as burnt out as a stoner at Burning Man... I guess going full-bore starting with training camp in Feb until now takes its toll (and i don't think I'm the only one...) The ennui of late summer bike racing was taking its toll, but now three things have happened that have set the fire in my loins once again:

1. Cyclocross season's around the corner!!!! If I have any hope of finishing in the middle of the pack as a newly minted cat 3 in CX, I better start training more...
2. The team has been absolutely kicking ASS lately. 2 wins in the park by Zak, Alvin winning Tokeneke (and finally getting his cat 3 upgrade), and the little stunt Zak and I pulled at Lou Maltese (more on that below)
3. For some god-forsaken reason, I'm pre-reg'ed to do the Green Mountain Stage race. After last year's spectacle* you think i would have learned my lesson, but no.

So in order to not embarrass myself too much at GMSR or in the 09 CX season, I've ramped up my training again. I know, coach roger must be so proud. It's easy to let yourself go for a few weeks after racing pretty much nonstop since march, but I've toned down my normal diet (not really) and started putting some real miles in again.

So onto Last Sunday:

I'd never actually raced Lou Maltese before, but it's widely known as the Ultimate-mega-Excitable-cat-4-world-championships. Needless to say, this race was in our sights. The race started out in a similar fashion to CRCA races, with the addition of some non-CRCA jokers from Bklyn and Queens (Kissena, etc). It was pretty much guaranteed that it was going to be a sprint finish, what with the entire excitable cat 4's in the bunch. There were numerous half-assed attempts at breaks, but the field never let anything stick for more than 1/3rd of a lap. I played my usual be-lazy-and-don’t-do-any-work,-you-fat-sprinter card. The rest of our team did a few leg openers, with Zak, Beckerman, Tim, and Chad attacking a few times. Nothing special. The non-sprinters did a good job of helping to rein in whatever did go.

Coming into the last lap, Reggie and Zak stuck near the front. I waited till the west side/tavern to get into position- looking for my leadout of destiny- AKA TIM ROGERS.

Tim's surgical precision in the leadout is remarkable- he’s steady, finds great lines, and guides you to victory with perfect timing. I stuck onto Tim’s wheel like Britney Spears at an all-you-can-eat-buffet. Zak was on my wheel, waiting to do his thing. I had been anticipating giant leadout trains from Setanta and NYVelocity, but nothing came around. I kept an eye on "Union" Steve Marmo, who I had been talking sh!t to all week. I was praying he wouldn't whip out a tire iron and take a swipe at me mid sprint (kidding!)- he's been racing strong and i made sure i knew where he was. With 1 or 2 K to go, Beckerman goes off on a flyer. The field freaks out, knowing he's a TT monster, and the whole pack sped up and got strung out trying to chase him. I think this was extremely beneficial to our finish, as we had a great position when it got strung out.

As we got to the boathouse, Tim was chugging along. The Sprinter on Organic tried to go early and we followed. Tim rammed us about 1/3rd of the way up

Cats paw and then Zak and I went. Zak came around me and I started to sprint. Our timing was perfect and no one was getting around us. It's a great feeling when you know you're golden before you cross the line- it’s almost surreal; it goes in slow motion. I vaguely remember hearing Steve curse my name.

The minute we crossed the line 1-and-2, we did a Guido Fistpump and screamed in victory. We showed up to the Cat 4 World series and dominated on our home turf. Everyone played their part- we won because everyone raced well and for the team. Reggie, Chad, Tim, Zak- I'm so glad that we get to race together! my "oh" face even made an appearance:

This month has by far been the best month for the team so far. We're finally coming into our own, and done with the growing pains of a new team. Everyone’s racing their strengths, and we're taking advantage of those strengths with our solid, selfless teamwork. I'm so proud of our guys!

I didn't remember this right away, but before the race i had called that we would finish 1st and 2nd. As Andy Shen was photographing that day, and apparently I made sure to remind him of my prediction mid-race:

If you think that's a shocker symbol I'm throwing up, well then you don't know me very well. I'm a polite, meek person who isn't fond of the spotlight at all. I'm also 6 feet tall and have a full head of hair. Ladies?

This latest result puts me within earshot of a cat 3 upgrade. No, really- stop laughing. that wasn't supposed to be a joke!

Note- due to the lack of an actual "podium" for the podium shot, it looks like I came in 3rd if you go by height order. next time I'll wear risers in my Sidis.

*Last year's GMSR incident involved a hilarious road race stage, where i took a wrong turn, did 15 extra miles, bonked, got severe GI distress and had to poop my brains out at a pizzeria at 11:30 AM right before hitting the final climb. I proceeded to get passed by Evie Stevens, who had probably started about 1 hr after me.

Tour de France Viewing Party- Sunday, July 12 @ BXL!

Hello, my legions of fans- i've been neglectful of my blogging as of late, but it's not for lack of trying! too much bacon eating and (subsequently) squeezing into skinsuits that are wayyy too tight...)

here's a heads up on another Viewing party I'm putting on this sunday, July 12th. Stage 9 is gonnna be a good one- the race is going to be decided in the mountains! Will Contador Spank Lancey-pants and make him get bottles with Levi? We'll have to see!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact:

Jed Kornbluh

Christophe Jammet

NYCX

newyorkcross@gmail.com

Stage 9 @ BXL to Benefit the CRCA Junior Development Program, presented by CJ & Jed

NEW YORK, NY July 6, 2009– Mussels! Schleck! Frites! Berto! Beer! Bottle! Lance! Who? On Sunday, July 12th at 7PM, come out to support the CRCA Junior Development Program and enjoy the company of fellow members of the NYC cycling community as we watch Stage 9 of the tour de France, featuring the classic climb up to Col de Tourmalet, at BXL Café on west 43rd (b/t 6th and Broadway). Belgian beer will flow, prizes will be raffled, and great TdF racing will be on the TV as CJ and Jed bring you another great party for a worthy cause.

The event begins at 7PM, with coverage on Versus beginning at 8PM, and will run until the end of the broadcast at 11PM. Offers for the night will include drink specials, courtesy of BXL and other event sponsors, a steady steam of prize raffles, as well as pre-recorded extended coverage of Stage 9. Raffle tickets will be sold for $5 throughout the event and all money raised will go directly to the CRCA Junior Development Program.

Raffle prize sponsors for this event include:

CRCA

Sportique Body Care

Univest Grand Prix Cyclosportif 100k

NYC Velo

Finkraft Coaching

New Jersey State Fair SpectaCross

David Jordan Coaching

Uvex Helmets

D'artagnan

OrthoChick

Velo Classic Tours

Wafels & Dinges

BXL Cafe

Gage DeSoto Tees

AND MORE!

For additional information, contact:

newyorkcross@gmail.com

3-UP

If i was any more lacksadaisical about updating, I'd be the Terry Schiavo of the blogosphere....

The racing season's is here in full force, and there was no easing into it- When your first race of the season is a 103 mile death march in the middle of nowhere, Louisiana- your racing season gets a swift kick-in-the-pants hello.

Rouge Roubaix

Photo courtesy of Tim Mueller

I could go into long, long explicit detail about this race, but i'll keep it short: It was the hardest race I've ever done, and probably one of the hardest races a cat four (and definitely a cat 5) can do. 103 miles, 3 dirt sections (mile 20, 60, 84, respectively) totaling 30 miles, with multiple 10-15% grade unpaved climbs in the later sections. aside from the un-pave, there's also 30 miles of really bad chip-seal to contend with. Not a course for Zipp 404's by any means. I slapped on a pair of Vittoria Open Corsa tires to keep from flatting like last year. Tim and i rode pretty well- Tim took 11th, which was a great result for him. I ended up coming in 18th- two spots better than last year. I had hoped to do better than that but the remnants of a stomach bug had killed my appetite the morning of the race, and i was bonking by the end. I've never been so happy to finish a race before. every part of me was cooked- my arms and hands could barely hold onto the bars after being accosted with over 5 hrs of shitty gravel and chip seal. anyone who's interested in learning more about this race should check out the excellent article in the times two weeks ago . Sure, its a bit odd for a mediocre cat 4 to be mentioned in the new york times twice in 6 months (and lets not forget the bicycling magazine spread), but my publicist says its perfectly natural. Once I'm done with my book tour things should calm down...

Photo Courtesy of Tim Mueller

Grant's Tomb



to be honest, i almost didn't do this race. on paper, cold, early season cat 4 crits are generally a bigger disaster than a Sham Wow encounter with a hooker (zing!). Peer pressure got the best of me, however, and I signed up for the 4 race. I'm glad i did! i was able to get my first podium in an open cat 4 race! aside from a gym workout that wrecked my legs, i hadn't done much that prior week- as i was recovering from the roubaix. I made sure to embrocate everything (even the naughty bits) and warm up for a good, long time. As our kits hadn't arrived yet and I didn't want to confuse any NYVelocity team members, I donned the oldschool CRCA logo and raced incognito.

when i did this race last year, I remember being in pain. it was early in the season and I hadn't done much intensity. I struggled in the middle of the pack, and accelerations made me want to have a good cry. This year, all the volume from Arizona and the roubaix seemed to pay off- my legs felt good, and i could stay near the front without much problem. sure, my HR was in the 190's for most of the race, but the legs felt good.

The race had its sketchy moments (As all cat 4 crits/nascar races do) i dodged a few crashes and survived someone bumping into me (unlike your mom, i don't go down that easily- DAMN!). As we got to the final lap, i positioned myself somewhere in the top 15. we zoomed through the sweeping 180 and into the final stretch. the final leg of the course is deceptively long. many people sprint too early, and they become other people's leadouts. i waited long enough and was able to accelerate past a good deal of people. i looked to my right and was sprinting against an NYVC member- i threw my bike and barely cinched 3rd. ahead of me was an MIT rider and a Rutgers guy.



After my heart rate came back down from 204, i took my victory lap, kissed a baby, signed some autographs, grabbed my hefty 3rd place race winnings ($40! i could buy TWO sham-wows and a slap chop with that!) and headed to Dinosaur BBQ for some celebratory pork. again, I'm a master at undo-ing any benefits i reap from training.




CRCA Race

Yesterday's CRCA race was like the first day of high school- everyone's got their new outfits and wants to show off what they'd been doing since last year. Our kits had come in the week before, and they look FREAKING AWESOME.



Whats nice about being the guy who places the kit order is that you get the kit delivered to your place. all 150 Lbs of spandex. Me= Kid in a candy store.




David really did an awesome job at designing these, and the folks at Hincapie did an awesome job making them and getting the order through with a minimum of fuss (Thanks Angela!) I definitely recommend them if you're looking for new kits for your team. I also made sure to check for sizing discrepancies before handing them out- I personally tried on EVERY single pair of Bibs to make sure they were true to size (Alvin, sorry if i stretched yours out a bit). Sometimes I wonder if being this good a teammate goes unnoticed...




That being said, our very awesome, very white kits got broken in really really quickly after yesterdays Belgian shitfest of a race. My legs felt good, but when a break developed with two of our guys in it, we let it go. a few more people bridged up to the break and it became a bit unwieldy, but the weather seemed to deter people from chasing. at that point i wanted our guys in the break to have a chance of doing something so i sat back and twiddled my figurative thumbs. i didn't even realized we were in the final sprint when it happened. Note to teammates: please let me know when we're on our final lap- I'm not very good with numbers...

So the race was was wet, grimy, cold, and awesome. We all finished the race in drenched spandex, and looking like we just finished filming a German porno.




Next week is the CRCA Points race. I'm pumped. hopefully we can pull something off- it's going to take teamwork and some cojones.

Also- on Sunday Jed and i are throwing a little party. Maybe you've heard of it? The Tour of Flanders Viewing party is Happening on Sunday, April 5th- 5PM @ BXL Cafe on 43rd between 6th and b-way. We've got beer money (you can thank sponsors Visitflanders.us and rapha for that), and an awesome raffle with tons of prizes. all of the money from the raffle goes to the CRCA junior dev program, so come drink beer and (potentially) win some awesome prizes such as a Schwinn fastback CX bike, delicious Sportique Chamois Cream, Wafel Gift certificates from Wafels & Dinges, Schwag from NYC Velo, and Many more! plus, we have a pretty freakin' sweet flyer. how can you say no??




Till then, its training, and being miserable at work for yours truly. It's good to be back.

Tucson Training Camp- Day 4 and 5

Welcome to the finale of "CJ's Desert Porno Training Camp!"

Coach Roger has definitely been trying to make us all cry, and you'd think that after a hard ride up Mt Lemmon we would be due for a light day. Hells-freakin-no!

the very next day, we loaded up his car with MORE BIKES THAN I'VE EVER SEEN ON ONE CAR (9). it was pretty pro.




Being as there were 12 of us and two cars, we decided to adopt the "when in Rome" philosophy and a few of us got shoved into the trunk of an SUV like a couple of illegals for the drive out. During the drive, i listened to music and though to myself "I though i would at least make it to 30 before being stuffed in the trunk of a car while listening to Phil Collins..."




We drove out to Benson and parked our cars at the Walmart. our ride had two destinations- one the way out we would go through Tombstone, and then ride out to Bisby, which was about 50 miles out from Benson, then back through Tombstone to Benson.



to get there, we traversed across some beautiful grassland. Everyone kept it steady, and we got some great volume in.




We briefly rolled into Tombstone on the way out to Brisby- as if we were a bunch of modern day cowboys (rendered only marginally gayer by substituting spandex for chaps). The town looks like you would picture it- an old-time cowboy town, with saloons, burlesque dancers, smoke shops, gun shops, and the whole shebang.





We stopped to talk to one of the paid actors- turns out he was in "Raising Arizona"- he was 85 and still acting- he said it was better than being stuck in a nursing home comparing what blood pressure medicine each person was on...




the ride from Tombston to bisby was chock full of false flats and a not-so-fun 4 mile climb in 90+ degree heat. The descent was a 50+mph divebomb down into town. you zoom by an old mineral mine, and swoop under an overpass to get to Bisby- a tiny little hippie town tucked in a valley. The town's full of potheads and artists, but in a charming way. we stopped by a cafe, and outside some musicians jammed along to Neil Young and Billy Joel Songs.




We stopped back into Tombstone on the way back to sip on some fine Sarsparilla and to snap more embarassing photos of cowboys and dudes in spandex. We walked in on the actors re-creating the O.K. Corral Gunfight, but left before all the PEW PEWing started.



the rest of the 98 mile march was chock full of headwinds. Everyone stuck together and churned through it. We also had to go through a border patrol checkpoint, who wanted to make sure we weren't smuggling any illegals in our bibs...




As the days have gone on, the sheer volume of the rides has started taking its toll on some of the riders- a couple of the guys have been experiencing acute tendonitis from all the riding. My ankle and its newly healed tendonitis has been holding up. Riding hard, back-to-back days like this really makes you appreciate how important proper recovery is. The combination of cold pool/sauna/and massage really helped a whole lot. maybe i should have a sauna installed in my apartment...




The last day of riding for me consisted of a local group ride known as the "Pistol" ride. We met up with a group of locals right next to the University of Arizona and followed them. eventually we were led to this little state park that had a beautiful 9 mile loop in it. since you had to pay to get in, there were barely any cars. The roads were beautifully paved, and with the exception of a minor 3/4 mi climb, the whole loop consisted of coaster-like-rollers and tight, swoopy turns. it was so much fun to ride because you could keep your momentum up when coming over the rollers and really hit the little turns perfectly. the only problem was the local wildlife- tons of Jackrabbits and jackalopes were hopping across the roads- i almost had to bunny hop one or two of them...

after a loop in the park we kept going, and traded off 25-30mph pulls until we hit about 60 mi. we then stopped at a gas station for a few mexican cokes before heading back home, finishing the ride at about 75 mi. If you're not familiar with mexican coke- its made with real sugar instead of corn syrup, and tastes so much better. they also still come in glass bottles, in case you get in a bar fight at the local Chuck-e-Cheese.



If you're wondering what I did for fun when i wasn't riding, don't wonder too hard- we were all too tired to do anything other than eat, sleep, and sit in the sauna. I did make one exception, however. I just LOVE reading high quality pieces of cycling-related journalism! especially when they have such good looking models...




Well, that concludes me three-part-tale of rubbing in the fact that i enjoyed a week full of awesome weather and riding- I'm sure that won't result in me getting put into the curb at the next park race...

If it's any consolation (and to exhibit the sense of humor karma has), I left my wallet on the plane while flying back, got a lovely little stomach bug, had my bike delivered to my teammate's address, and was greeted with 14 hrs/day of work since i've been back. It's so hard being this awesome!

On Thursday I'm packing up and heading to New Orleans with my teammate Tim Rogers to once again tackle the Rouge Roubaix. I went to training camp to build up for this race, and as long as my digestive system stops trying to recreate a German Porno in the toilet bowl, I'm hoping to kill it there. Next stop, crawfish and Roubaix!

Tucson Training Camp- Day 2 & 3

In an effort to futher piss everyone off, i will now continue my chronicle of Training camp in Tucson!

Day 2 of the Finkkraft Training camp quickly shifted from "recreational" to "no f#@king joke."



Yesterday's ride ended up being a 96 mile march across Tucson, Over Gate's pass, towards the mexican border, and back over Gate's Pass again. We've got a motley crew of twelve riders, including mark, the owner of westwood Velo, Troy Kimball, and a former soigneur of the Navigators pro team- Erik Carlson.




the group is mostly made up of cat 3's and 4's, and everyone is able to stick together in a group for most of the ride. Of course, the minute a real hill hits it breaks apart, but the climbs here are usually longer ones, and everyone waits at the top to regroup. another way for me to say this is everyone waits for ME at the top of hills.

this huge increase in volume has definitely been a shock to the system. 5 hrs in the saddle daily is just what i need, and it feels great to do it in great weather. the combination of miserable winter training and stress at work had definitely started to take it's toll on me, and I'm so happy i was able to get away.

In taint-related news, my "dingleberry wonderland" (thanks schmalz) has been holding up well, thanks to the gobs and gobs of Sportique i've been spackling on there.

Today's ride was shorter but harder. We rode straight up Mount Lemmon, which is a laughably long climb. just for some context, the longest climb this chubby sprinter had ever done was probably at Green mountain. I wasn't able to fully grasp what it means to climb for 30 straight miles. it means you're climbing for about 3 hours. frankly, i'd rather compete in naked ice luge-ing.

that being said, it was probably the best workout i've gotten in a while. it just NEVER ends. every time you make a turn, you hope that the climb is somehow magically over. but lo and behold, just look up, and there's the road you need to get to. the climb takes you up to almost 9,000 feet, and at about 7,000 feet you're above the snowline. just two hours ago you you were riding in 90 degree weather and now you're in a winter wonderland. I couldve make a perverted snowman if i wanted to!

The views are unreal from the top of the mountain. the slopes of the mountain are uncomfortably steep, and the carcasses of previous car crashes can be seen down below in ravines.



Naturally, the group splintered at the beginning, with me near the back at the beginning of the cllimb. I had no problem with that- i wanted to keep my heart rate around the upper tempo/lower sub threshold zone, and had no desire to make my heart explode by trying to keep up with Roger & Co. our mini group kept it steady for most of the ride, and once we got a botle refill about halfway up, i started to feel a little better. Once your body settles down into rhythm, the climb isn't that bad. the distance of the climb is daunting, and your mind starts to play tricks on you, but I've never been so happy or satisfied with finishing a climb like that.



the reward for the 3 hour long climb is supposed to be two-fold. Apparently there's a GREAT pie shop at the top of the mountain. much to our chagrin, they're only open form Fri-sun. we settled for some fantastic Fudge instead. the other reward is the longest descent I've ever had the pleasure of zooming down.



Due to my cannonball-like physiology, i love going down hills. The way down the mountain is full of swoopy turns and incredible vistas. the road surface was fantastic the whole way down, so most of the 45 minute long descent was in the 40 mph range. its a buttload of fun to go that fast for that long, but after a while your arms and neck start to hurt from being in a tuck for so long. We did stop to take some group photos and also point out some geological formations.



a few of us hit the downhill as hard as we could- three of us were trading pulls at 40-45 mph for the last 10 miles. we all met at the bottom of the mountain and limped back home.

Erik, who was the soigneur for the Navigator's team, has been offfering his massage services after rides. I've taken him up on it for the last two days, and i can telll you that he's got magic hands. he's a master of Myofascial release.

Equipment:

the folks at Finkraft have given us the opportunity to try out some new equipment while we're here at camp. yesterday i had the chance to try out the new Uvex FP1 Helmet. it's the same one that the folks on Team Highroad are using:



i love this helmet. its super light, has great venting, fits well, and doens't create any pressure points on your head. I think a helmet is at its best when you can barely tell that you're wearing one. I almost forget that i had it on a few times yesterday. i give this helmet 4/5 bacon strips.





Tomorrow We're riding out to Tombstone, about a 100 mi ride. hopefully we'll see some cowboys and some PEW PEW gunfights!