O' Bacon, Where art thou?

One of my new year's resolutions was to make sure I blog more- you'd think i wouldn't have a problem talking about myself for hours on end (ask any of my friends). But considering that my first blog of 2009 comes to you in mid February speaks volumes about how good i am at keeping resolutions...

I hadn't really taken the time to reflect on the end of 2008. To say the least, it was a blast. Somehow we banded together and put on an awesome race that made NYCX'ers proud. not even DFLing and getting hypothermia could quell the awesome time i had putting that race on.

And here we are, firmly entrenched in 2009. I have to admit, I'm pumped. We put together an awesome new team full of awesome guys that know how to race well and have fun, We're training with a dreamy Finnish coach who happens to be this year's National Masters CX Champ, our kits are fabulous, and there's tons of awesome races to get ready for!

I've also been dealing with the double-sided sword that is fame. ever since i was featured on the back page of a certain cycling publication this month...



Don't worry- being a fat kid in grammar school more than prepared my for the amount of anonymous hate and mockery this photo is going to get me. And while you people may THINK its fun to get accosted by attractive females every time i leave the G-damn house, it actually gets kind of old... wait, no it doesn't...


Now i know what you're dying to ask: How is the most famous mediocre cat 4 in the country going to train for a grueling season of "holja line" park races as well as hilly out of town races that he'll probably get dropped on?

Aside from a few rocky-style training montages, I've been hitting the trainer and the gym quite a bit when it's been below freezing. as riding the trainer is a miserable, lonely affair, I've been inviting friends over for "trainer dates," also known as "indoor trainer gang bangs." Everyone's favorite cat 3 sandbagger Colin Prensky joined me a few times, which i guess mean's we're going steady (he likes to spoon afterward)



Also, after suffering through 10 months of a baconless existence last year, I've decided that i will ESPECIALLY eat bacon this year! i just found out that bacon has Omega 6's in it- those are twice as good as omega 3's right?! they should invent more things that are delicious AND good for you.



The next few weeks are going to be full of training, and my first big race, the Rouge Roubaix, is only 21 days away. I did this 100 mile bastard of a race last year. Think Battenkill x 2, with rougher roads and shorter, steeper climbs, and then put the entire thing on in the middle of deliverance country in Louisiana and Mississippi. you get the idea. It's an insanely epic race that's laughably early in the season. It's also one of the best races I've competed in. Last year i came in 20th, including a flat tire and a pee break (i have the bladder of a 4 year old). This year, I'm racing with a vengeance. Roubaix tires have been purchased, and I have no qualms about going boom-boom or wee-wee in my bibs this time (bike shorts are pretty much just spandex diapers anyway, right?)




in order to get ready for the upcoming season, and to get out of the city, I'm flying out to Tucson, AZ to take part in our coach's training camp. i'll be out there riding for 5 days, up and down Mount Lemmon, crying and whining about how much i hate hills. hopefully this will transform my racing form from mediocre to a little better than mediocre. we're staying in a huge mansion in Tucson that Roger rented, complete with pool, hot tub, and sauna. Bonus- Apparently this house has also been used to film some movies that I've probably already seen on redtube, so you know it's got character! I'm just going to have to check the room with a blacklight before i go to sleep...



Tomorrow morning I'm celebrating president's day by making my way to Westwood Velo at the buttcrack of dawn to have a fitting session and Lactate Balance point test with Roger. Then it'll be TOC time. Just you wait and see- Big George is going to win a stage this week, and then dedicate it to me, his biggest fanboy (stalker).

photo by Ken Conley- kwc.org

Preparing for the Epic

Well, Training is back in full force. Resolutions have been made, workouts have been doled out by the coaches. Bikes, kits and other ostentatious bike stuff we don't really need has been ordered (that's probably the best part). It's time to put things in perspective- what are you shooting for? what are your goals? What races do you want to race in? win? place? man hug in a final sprint? It all comes down to preparation.

So what are CJ's goals for this upcoming season? Well, aside from the customary "lose 50 lbs," I'd like to at least place in a CRCA B race. Last year my goal was to win a C race, which happened- but there's a pretty big talent difference between those two fields. I have a feeling the B field is going to be pretty damn strong this year- it'll be interesting to see how the races unfold on both a team and individual level. I'd also like to place in some crits (and not crash in them).

While park races are great, they're training races. sure it's great to have your team win the B cup (which we'll be trying to do again), but I want to concentrate on a few big out of town races. I want to do some crazy races- I want to experience something new and great- I got a taste of that last season by doing races like Owasco and Battenkill. I'm looking forward to those races again.

I love the concept of a Roubaix-style race. It's great to do a race that causes you to suffer- not just in the "oh god this is a big hill" sort of suffering, but to endure the elements, rough roads, long distances- Races like that build character, you're proud for just finishing. When it's all done, you and your buddies are able to commiserate over a shared experience that was both fun and full of suffering. Even better- with a roubaix, you've just GOTTA chug a big ole' bottle of belgian when its done.



So Battenkill was supposed to be my first big race of the season- it's pretty early in the season (April 19), and its right smack in the middle of spring. a pretty epic race to be sure. I'm really excited to see how I do this year compared to last year's C race. If i learned anything with Battenkill last year, it's that it isn't over until the large, unattractive female screams into a microphone. Long, painful races like this play out differently than your standard park race- there's alot more drama to it (the good kind)

along the lines of Battenkill, I remember having read about a similar race down in Louisiana called the Rouge Roubaix. This race is the southern version of Paris-Roubaix ; A 106-mi suffer fest in the Backroads of Louisiana. We're talking Deliverance country here. Barely supported, 20 miles of unpaved roads, and short, very steep climbs on said unpaved roads.

I went to college down in New Orleans and was going there when I started riding road. If you can believe it, I was an even chunkier fred when I started out riding.

I decided on a whim to look into the Rouge roubaix and came across their site. I wanted to do a race that not many people up here had done- one that's a bit crazy and pretty, well, epic.



So I signed up last week and peer pressured two people (maybe 3) into going. It's going to be crazy.



The only problem is that this race is over a month before Battenkill. It'll be a great prep race for Battenkill- albeit longer and probably more painful. We'll be rewarded by a crazy night out in New Orleans, my old stomping grounds. I

So I'm full on training, and taking it as seriously as possible- I haven't eaten ANY foie gras since new years, and I've been laying off delicious, wonderful bacon based products. I've been hitting the Gym for the past 2-3 months, and I definitely feel the difference this time around. I've been hitting up squats, Deadlifts, leg presses, and some core/stability exercises. I'm hoping these help with my sprint. I'm going to get into Plyometrics soon as well (once i get the workouts), as I've been told over and over again that they're pretty essential to having a good "snap" in your sprint. I've also started getting longer rides in- Sunday we had our first ride to the Orchards. The race is less than two months away. Will we be ready? Will the yankees be able to hang with the Good 'ole boys? Will I be told I have a pretty mouth?

Yes or no, It's gonna be epic.

Battenkill Belgian prep

Hincapie Sunglasses- Check.
Gloves- Check.

Post Race Belgian Beer- Check.


Tomorrow's going to be a sufferfest.

Wish me luck. Battenkill in the morning. Hoo-rah.