'Cross Time- gloucester Recap

photo by Ocean Li

I've come to a conclusion about the reasons I like to race . Sure, it's easy to say that its for the love of the bike, the feeling of competition, improving yourself, yada yada. That's all fine and good, but really- the main reason we all bike race is simple: so that you have a new facebook profile picture.

photo by Ocean Li

Ok, so maybe that doesn't apply to the master's 45+ crowd, but for almost everyone else, it's not a race to the finish, it's a race to the photographer! How many of you get to the front every time you're about to pass Andy Shen/ Marco/ any other photographer? That's what I thought.

For 'cross, there's two other reasons we race:

1. an excuse to go to a diner after a race:

1. an excuse to drink beer

I love how riding for 40 minutes justifies eating 2500 calories worth of Pastrami Reubens and Ommegang. Somehow, I end up gaining weight after a long 'cross race weekend. I wonder why...

If any weekend was a shining example of that, it was the weekend I just spent at Gloucester last weekend- two days of racing cross in a beautiful new england town, coupled with two days of chugging clam chowder and Belgian beer along with inhaling lobster rolls.

I'm not one for playing into stereotypes, but I know i'm not the only one in nyc that bike races and works in finance. After past two week's festivities, I was more than happy to get the hell out of dodge for a long weekend. Turn those machines back on!

The drive up was pretty brutal- we left at 6:30 on friday and got in at 2AM. The race was at 9. My current strategy of doing C races until I win is getting a bit old. I think it's time to upgrade to cat 3 in cross just so I can get up later and do the B races (Generally, the order of races is predicated in talent order- worst to best- or something like that). Of course, if I was nearly as good at the art of bagging sand as Colin Prensky is, I wouldn't be having this problem...

Saturday's course was a wide, sweeping course. Very fast and full of long straight sections. The turns weren't too technical, there was no run up, and the only spots you had to dismount were a twisty sand pit and a set of barriers. I was hoping for crappy weather to provide some messy racing, but the weather turned out to be beautiiful. It was the perfect temperature when we went off, but the temps rose significantly throughout the day, turning the dewey course into a dustbowl. The beer tent was strategically placed by the barriers, and you could easily see most of the course from the main area. I think the promoters did a great job at organizing this race. That being said, I praise any promoter that puts a beer tent up.

Boiko and I got to the course with tiime to spare, and we got a few warm up laps in. this race was going to be all about picking smooth lines and powering through the straight sections. Not quite my course of choice, but I was pumped to try it out.

We thought we'd be smart and try to secure a decent spot at staging about a half-hour before the race. There were over 100 people signed up for the C race, and As we all know, a good starting position is one of the most important parts of 'cross racing. We stood there along for about 10 minutes, with a smug sense of satisfaction, thinking we were soooo smart for getting to staging super early so that we would get a good spot. Unfortunately, a man eventually came up to us and informed us that starting order was determined by the order in which you registered. Good for you, bike-reg geeks...

Boiko and I ended up being in the 7^th row, or about 70 spots back. It was going to be one of those pack fodder sort of days! When your'e relegated to that fact, all you can do is concentrate on picking people off once by one once the race strings out. Everyone's riding as hard as they can, and all the while you're hoping for two things

1. that you dont get passed due to taking a bad line, get a mechanical, or wiping out.

2. That the guy in front of you Does have one of those things happen to him.

I'm half kidding. However, it's so easy to be a victim of circumstance that you're more mindful of all of the bad stuff that can happen. You're subjecting your equipment and your body to higher stresses and impacts that one is normally used to In a road race. I for one know that my equipment gets wailed on like Tina turner after Ike's had a few too many...

this race had a long, uphill sprint to the hole shot, and it was a much longer sprint than the last few races. It allowed for me to take a few spots, but I was also aware that it was going to be the part of the course that added insult to injury. The start was just like a cat 4 prospect park field sprint, except no one crashed and nobody told me to "holja line." I always try and hit the first lap pretty agressively, and then try and find a rhythm once everyone's strung out. Aside from one tiny wipeout, I didn't embarrass myself too much. Gloucester most resembles Belgian 'cross races from what i've seen on youtube- the crowd is going nuts by the barriers, and the beer is flowing. It's funny how time slows down in the 'cross race- every time I do it, it's the longest 40 minutes of my life...

I could hear fellow NYCX'ers cheering me on and screaming at me and my friends, and that's part of what made the race so fun. I finished the race about 20 spots ahead from where I started, so I was satisfied with the race. On to the beer!

I;m a big fan of beer tent antics. What better place to drink some great local beer, abuse a cowbell, throw beer at your friends that are racing, and be a bit obnoxious?

I've determined that flinging beer at your friends while they race is one of the only ways you can do it without getting beaten up- I guess it's big in Belgium and Portland ,so it's cool to do here. Sure, it may have been a waste of Ommegang, but I wanted to be authentic. Every time Prensky, Slokar, or Jed came around in the B race, they got beer flung at their persons until I ran out. Once I ran out of beer, I resorted to clumps of dirt and grass. I felt like an irate monkey. Douchey? A bit. Funny? Yes!

I'll be the first to admit i'm not a fan of american spectator sports. As it stands, I'm a bit of a pariah in my office because I don't do fantasy sports, think baseball is boring and that most of those atheletes are overpaid, not in great shape, and probably doping (oh snap, I went there!) same goes for football- but hey, it's all about preference. That being said, I think 'cross races are some of the most entertaining sporting events to watch. You can see all the action, it's nonstop from start to finish, the crowd is right there screaming in the faces of the athletes, and everyone's drinking beer. It's like going to spectate at the Tour de France- except instead of having the peloton pass you in just once instant- you have an hour of riders passing you, hopping barriers, and riding the pain train. There's a bit of a NASCAR aspect to it when you're by the barriers,, except the beer's better and the mullets are more euro. The minute somone wipes out on the barriers, the crowd goes nuts. People fling beer, throw money, shout, and ring cowbells. Christopher Walken would be proud.

As for the pro race, it was a ton of fun to watch. I won't go into detail, as velonews probably already did and i'm just plain lazy. Needless to say, Ryan Trebon did his customary "rip the legs off of everyone in the last lap" strategy. seems to work for him. for the record, his legs are longer than my whole body. Kind of like this:

Day two at Gloucester was much of the same, but the course was much more fun. a few turns had been changed, and a decently steep run-up have been incorporated. Hitting the run up with the entire cat 4 field on the first lap was like a stampede. I almost got taken out when someone in front of me couldn't remount his bicycle. The addition of the run up made the course a little harder, and broke up the long, flat parts of the course. I'm a big fan of run ups, even though i kind of suck at them- the steeper, the better. word to the wise, always keep toe spikes in your mtb shoes- you'll thank me later.

I managed to stay upright on day two, and felt good about how i had raced- i moved ahead about 30 spots form where i started- still middle of the pack, but the course and the crowd made it a ton of fun. I would say that Gloucester is probably the most picturesque 'cross course out there.

Even though i managed to stay upright for the race, I ended up falling on top of Adam Duncan in the parking lot after the race. What a pro.

My buddy Bill the paparazzo was there to document a ton of the race- it's dangerous having a friend show up with a good camera. It sometimes leads to bouts of unfathomable Narcissism...

Short of what happened to me in the bathroom at the George Michael Concert, I'd say this is the most homoerotic thing i've ever done. not that there's anything wrong with that... As for Colin Presnky, well, I can't speak on his behalf.

Aside from the Playgirl photo shoot, the rest of the day was spent drinking beer, eating some fantastic loster rolls, and cheering on the Higher cat races. Another weekend of fun. Another weekend of pain. Another weekend of cowbell , friends, and regrettable photos of me in a skinsuit. does it get any better?

'Cross Dressin

I'm not one to embarass myself publicly, but there's something about cyclocross that just makes you want to don a skinsuit (whether you should or not is another question entirely).

Dressing properly for a 'cross race is important. since racing is in the fall, you're subject to extreme temperatures and elements; ranging from rain, mud, sleet, sand, snow,hail, dead cats, baby vomit, peanut butter, packing peanuts, and broken beer bottles. All the while, you're running through different environs, sometimes with your bike on your shoulder. You don't want to wear anything loose, and you need to stay warm.

So what's the answer, CJ?

I'm glad you asked!

Skin. Suits.



Sure, they may leave little/nothing to the imagination, but it really is the best thing to wear. Most 'cross racers are perfectly content with the standard jersey and bibs/knickers, but that's not very "pro" now is it? you don't see Erwin Vervecken wearing a two-piece, do you?

Once just the fancy of TT geeks and Cher, Skinsuits are ideal because you can't get them caught on anything- branches, your bike, a spectator, etc. A "time trial" skinsuit will work just fine, but some clothing manufacturers (Champsys is coming to mind) make cyclocross-specific skinsuits. they're made of "roubaix" material and are long-sleeved. that's about as pro as you can get in a cross race...


And don't let anyone tell you that wearing a skinsuit in the company of other men is "embarassing" or "makes you a Kylie Minogue fan." They're just upset that they can see your junk, that's all.


and don't worry, they make them for women, too!


Saturday was the Westwood Velo's Annual 'cross race. It's a pretty small local race, but its fun, and the guys at Westwood Velo put on a great event. It was held at Campgaw Park's ski slope in Mahwah, NJ. It's about an hour by car from Manhattan, which in cyclocross terms isn't far at all. I've been known to drive 4 hrs in one each way for a 30 minute race. smart? not really. fun? you betcha!

Tony Slokar, Colin Prensky and I drove over to Mahwah to get our 'cross on. the Westwood race had been my very first race two season ago, and it hold a special place in the cockles of my heart. The course is pretty compact- at under 2km- and is as technical as they could have made it given the terrain. The course is riddled with turns, and there's never really an opportunity to let loose on a long, straight section with too much speed. A course like that would favor people with big engines and poor handling. The course at Westwood made sure that picking a good line was what would set you apart from the field.


all three of us signed up for the C race. As I said before, the "C" field was the Sandbaggiest field I have ever seen at a cross race. a ton of cat 3's on the road, along with a cat 1 or 2. nobody seemed to mind, and everyone was ready to have some fun (you can be sure that that wouldn't fly in a road race- just imagine a cat 1 trying to jump in on a cat 4 race...)

Usually the start of a cross race has a fairly significant flat section leading into the "hole shot". The hole shot is extremely strategic in a 'cross race- it's the section of the course that gets narrow right after the starting sprint. The entire field sprints from the get go to snatch the 1st position into the hole shot. It's a huge advantage to not have to try and pass someone in front of you in a cross race, and grabbing the hole shot is a great way to do just that. The key to getting the hole shot is to have a good starting position, clip in quickly, and sprint as hard as you can.

That's one reason why cross is so hard- You shock your cardiovascular system right from the start, and don't let up for 40 minutes. I remember seeing someone vomit right after a race and though "that's romantic."

Westwood's hole shot was a pretty short distance from the start, so it wasn't a very hard or long sprint. the field funneled into the course, and we were off. i had a decent top 20 position going into the first lap, and concentrated on picking people off one by one. with a course this full of tight turns, i was going to concentrate on finding the best lines and always accelerating hard out of the turns.


The course had two sets of double barriers- one set wast right after a pair of short, sharp 180 degree turns, so it was impossible to hit it with speed. The second set was a more standard set up, and it allowed for you to hit them with a good bit of velocity.


By the way, I'd like to mention that 'cross barriers are harder to hit when you've got short legs. me and my treestumps have to full-on leap over the barriers. I'm going to demand lower barriers for short people. or taller barriers for taller people. whichever is funnier.

The hardest and most painful part of the course had to be the two sections of washboard terrain. the ground was so bumpy and divoted that there was no way to pedal through it- you just had to let your body take a pounding (make your jokes), and it definitely wore people out as the race went on. The run up was a section of tall log steps that ended on a slight incline, which made re-mounting the bike a bit more challenging.


As the race went on, i started picking people off here and there. I ended up in a small three man gruppo with Tony and my friend Sam. They kept screaming at me to catch up to them, and i eventually did.

It's a bit of a departure from road racing to have people on other teams encouraging you to catch up with them and race well. all around me people are cheering for one another and pushing them to keep going. It's a positive atmosphere that's devoid of the insularity, elitism, and negativity that can sometimes afflict the amateur road racing scene. The first few times i raced cross i was caught off guard by it. maybe it's because the 'cross scene is more similar to mountain biking. people are more laid back and more centered around having fun. People don't freak out when they have a mechanical and start screaming about how they were "peaking for this race" and that it's the most important thing they've ever trained for. at the end of the day, we're all paying to play and have some fun. it's so easy for some people to take amateur racing too seriously, and sometimes it kills the fun.

Aside from a quick dropped chain, my race was thankfully devoid of mechanicals. I didn't slide out, didn't make out with gravel, and didn't have to buy a new pair of carbon bars. Any race that doesn't necessitate me buying tegaderm can effectively be labelled as a success!

I ended up finishing 11th out of about 56 starters, and was pretty happy with it. This year I'm actually starting to train for cross- incorporating running, plyometrics, and some light interval work. I think it'll give me a better chance to do well in races without getting burnt out on overtraining in the fall.

Once the race was over i learned that my friend Colin had won the race. Did I mention it was his first 'cross race ever? I know it's cliche to make "sandbagger!" jokes, but it's too easy with this guy. Colin Prensky is such a sandbagger that FEMA should hire him the next time a hurricane rolls into New Orleans. Zing!


kidding aside, he rode a great race and had a ton of fun with it. He was also wearing a skinsuit. coincidence? i think not. He also has a mean victory dance.



Tony and I had signed up to do the "B" race as well, but after having having our bodies battered by the washboard sections in the course, we opted for a less painful alternative:


Drinking!

There's really nothing more satisfying than drinking some kick-ass beer in your skinsuit after having ridden your bike so hard that you can't see straight or do simple math anymore. We spent the rest of the day cheering on the other fields and hanging out with friends we had made from prior 'cross seasons.


One of my favorite parts of 'cross racing is that you're forced to leave the city every weekend if you want to race. it lets you decompress and take in some new scenery. I'm definitely happy to do that given what's been going on at work in the past few weeks. Apparently every NYC bike racer is a "wall street type" so I'm sure you can relate....

Next Weekend is the Erdinger Gran Prix of Gloucester in Massachussetts. It's a two-day cross race, and one of the biggest in the northeast. I've never done it before, but I heard that its a fast, fast course with lots of long, flat sections. This'll be a complete departure from Westwood, and will probably favor guys with big engines. I'm just looking forward to getting up there and eating lobster rolls until i look like I'm pregnant.

Rumor also has it that Lancey Pants is racing Gloucester. I think it's great that he's trying it out, but it also looks like he's going to get housed by Trebon and Wicks. anyone want to place some bets?

'Cross Eyed

So the 'cross season starts in ernest tomorrow. Bear Creek was a muddy, twisted, 90 degree version of a prologue to the 'cross season... Tomorrow I'm doubling up at Westwood velo, racing C's then B's. Westwood was my very first 'cross race two seasons ago- i can remember it so vividly: 20 feet after the start i got a bit overzealous and biffed on pavement, only to have the entire C field run over me. Literally. I was shelled the entire race, fell about sixteen times, and probably came in next to last. I also had a blast. ever since then I've grown to love 'cross in the same way that i love Bacon, George Hincapie, and Phil Collins (ie: not in a healthy way).



Revisting westwood is going to be fun. Hopefully I'll have a bit of redemption, although a Bacony celebration isn't looking too good, judging by the riders registered in the "C" field... (that goes out to YOU, prensky and slokar...)

All i can do is embrocate, squeeze into the skinsuit, and take it to funky town.


Hopefully it doesn't turn into a clusterfuck...

Zing!

'Tis the Season to be 'Crossy

Racing road since march has started to take its toll on me. after 6 months of silly cat 4 crashes, watching people sprint for 30th place, and not eating bacon, I'm ready to take a break from skinny tire racing for a few months. I know I'm not the only one. It seems like Green mountain sucked the life out of most road racers (myself included) and now everyone wants to relax, drink a few beers, and enjoy the fall.

By "enjoy the fall", of course, i mean take a zipcar to New England every weekend, ride a cross bike in circles until you can't see straight, get covered in mud and blood, drink belgian beer, and ring cowbells.

After the green mountain fiasco (that's going to need it's own entry), i didn't even want to look at my road bike. what better time to take out the 'cross bike, bring it over to cadence, buy some new parts, and have it ready to go for the upcoming season? call it cat 4 retail therapy.



I wanted to give some new canti's a try, since my avid shorty 4's did as good a job at slowing me down as Britney Spears did at parenting. Jed @ cadence recommended the new TRP Eurox's; they're traditional canti's that look like Empella Frogs legs. I slapped on some green swiss stop pads, and I've been really happy with how they stop and control speed. That being said, they were squealin' like pigs when i first got them mounted. Traditional Canti's are a pain to toe in correctly...

the guys at Cadence also wanted me to try out the new teflon-coated cables. they're super slick and really reduce friction- We'll see how they hold up through the season.

This week marked the start of training for 'cross; We hit up a Dave Jordan coaching session on Wednesday, and then a teammate and I decided to organize a cross "boot camp" Saturday morning. It was either that or crashing in a prospect park field sprint...





Boiko, myself, and two Sid's guys showed up at 6:45 am hit up the riverside park just south of the GWB. at that hour no one is around, and there's a fantastic circuit you can do that emulates a 'cross course really well. Boiko also brought the PVC barriers he made. We did some mounting and dismounting drills, barriers, stair run ups, and a few race pace simulations. we all had a blast and it really pumped us up for what's to come in the next few weeks. It also gave me a chance to hone my wicked barrier jumping technique. (hint- always go for style points)



We'll probably be holding another 'cross boot camp in the next few weeks, so stay tuned. By the way, I'm really pumped at how more people are getting into 'cross.


On Sunday I either had the choice of doing a Time trial in 90 degree heat, or doing a 'cross race in 90 degree heat. either way, win-win right? If i had to equate my TT'ing to a martial art style it would probably be the formidable "flatulent sloth." I've quickly realized that the only reason i do TT's is due to the guilt i feel for having bought a TT bike. that, and the sadist in me likes scaring the public by donning skin suits...

Boiko and i drove over to good ole' Macungie, PA for the 2nd round of the Bear Creek CX race. i had heard from Jed that yesterday's course was SUPER muddy and technical. the mud was peanut butter, and the race organizers had really outdone themselves with this hard, technical course. did i mention it was 90 degrees for some reason? i didn't get the memo.

This course had everything- deep mud traps, super-tight switchbacks, lots of loose gravel, a muddy run up over a huge pipe, and of course barrier that was meanly placed in the middle of a small mud trap. glorious.

I made sure to have a good starting position. when the whistle blew, i clipped in quickly, and stuck with the top 3 right off the front. It's hard, but getting that good initial position is really essential to doing well- especially in a technical course. It's also important to always ride straight through puddles at fulls speed.

photo by Dennis Smith

I stuck with the top 3 for most of the race. I almost forgot how fun and painful it is to go all out for 40 minutes. your body is maxed out- all you can think about is breathing and pedaling. TT's may be an all out effort, but its a linear, progressive effort. the effort put out in a cross race is much more erratic- there's no recovery. If you're catching your breath, you're not going fast enough. there's also that whole running and turning bit. half of a 'cross race is avoiding obstacles. some races almost feel like the temple of doom. Maybe they should start using huge boulders at races to mix it up a bit...

on the final lap, i was going head to head with one guy for 4th position. we went back and forth- and i had a good feeling that i could beat him. after the final barrier jump i was ahead, and wanted to keep the speed up. there was a small mud trap right before we hit the asphalt. i went through it too fast and ended up making out with the asphalt. Score!

i somehow managed to bend one of the front brake arms below the rim of the wheel- if effectively jammed the front wheel, so i started running. After about 30 seconds of running, i was able to rip the brake back out and i rode to the finish. I still finished 8th and was pretty happy with that.



Eventually I noticed one guy roll into the finish with his saddle and seatpost in his hands. apparently it had snapped off mid-race and he FINISHED THE RACE WITHOUT A SEATPOST. That man deserves an award. Or at least a massage with a happy ending.

Boiko rolled through the finish- his facial expression was a mix of pain and awe. He'd just done his first 'cross race and got totally shelled. and you know what? He had a blast. And that's just the beginning.



Mud, blood, barriers, Run-ups, Beer Tents, Belgian beer, new jersey diners, and Cowbells are here for the next three months, and I couldn't be happier.

GMSR hurts

VT carbo-loading=maple syrup.

I finally found an internet connection!!! VT is beautiful , but if cell phone coverage is any indicator, people around here still use smoke signals and carrier pigeons to communicate. That, or I'm just a spoiled new yorker who's a slave to technology and won't make it 2 days when the zombie apocalypse happens...

So we're here. We just finished the 2nd stage of the race, which was a circuit race. yesterday was the 6 mile (semi)cannibal Time Trial. It started off with a hill, and then was a mix of flat and undulating rollers. the finish was after a huge dip- a steep downhill followed by a steep uphill- momentum could bring you most of the way up it, but then you had to suffer for the rest of it and finish strong. I made sure to pave myself up the hill and just concentrated on my heart-rate and my breathing. In retrospect, i probably sounded like a coke-head taking a LaMas class. Once i got over the top, i tried to keep the speed between 25-30 mph on the flats, and faster on the dowhills. it was a fun course, and the semi-cannibal rules made it a purer show of athletic ability- it wasn't as much about the super-retarded aero tt bike etc- it was about going fast on your bike. Although certain people decided to still try and squeeze aero advantages out by doing silly things like wearing helmet covers and putting bento boxes on their top tubes (ahem... mike beckerman...) I finished in the middle of the cat 4 field, with my teammates mike and matt coming in 9th and 11th, respectively (i guess the bento box worked...)

Today's stage was pretty brutal as far as circuit races go. first of all, it was LONG for a circuit race- about 68 miles. two laps of a 34 mi course. There was a small KOM in the middle and there was one sprint preem. This race was tough in so many ways. the first lap was pretty much a game of accelerate-for-five-seconds-and-then-slow-down. I hate that game... The roads were also pretty terrible- a few people ccracked new carbon rims. i would probably not take that too well....

we organized really well for the sprint preem. not knowing exactly where the finish was, we decided to take control of the front with about 10 miles to go. 5 of us rotated off the front and kept the pace high. as the sprint came into view, we killed it for matt, who's our best GC contender. He took the sprint! I did the obligatory lead-out-man-fist-pump.

somehow, this course manages to fit short uphills and one extremely long downhill. it was great to spend a few minutes in your top gear, catching your breath after the KOM.

as we approached the finish, we tried to organize again. it proved to be alot tougher. the field had been cut in half by now and the people that were there weren't having it. Matt told me he was on my wheel, and I weaved through to take first position, thinking he was on my wheel. all of a sudden, i hear the usual cat 4 scraping of carbon-on-asphalt. we speed up. I'm in first position killing it with 300 meters to go. I keep killing it till about 50-100 meters are left. i'm waiting for matt to come around me, but it never happens- instead, the field comes around me and i finish 17th. Apparently matt got cut off in the sprint and ended up sprinting in the grass... the perfect leadout wasted! either way, it was a really fun and intense race.

damage control- between the fast pace and about 4 crashes, haalf the field, along with half of my team, got taken out. rob got taken to the hospital with what turned out to be a bruised ligament. However, since he had cracked his helmet open, they decided to immobilize him for an hour. he was about as pissed as a nun in a donkey show...



Tomorrow is the 80 mile road race that takes us up the App gap twice. I think I'll win it.

God, I'm hilarious.