O' Bacon, Where art thou?

One of my new year's resolutions was to make sure I blog more- you'd think i wouldn't have a problem talking about myself for hours on end (ask any of my friends). But considering that my first blog of 2009 comes to you in mid February speaks volumes about how good i am at keeping resolutions...

I hadn't really taken the time to reflect on the end of 2008. To say the least, it was a blast. Somehow we banded together and put on an awesome race that made NYCX'ers proud. not even DFLing and getting hypothermia could quell the awesome time i had putting that race on.

And here we are, firmly entrenched in 2009. I have to admit, I'm pumped. We put together an awesome new team full of awesome guys that know how to race well and have fun, We're training with a dreamy Finnish coach who happens to be this year's National Masters CX Champ, our kits are fabulous, and there's tons of awesome races to get ready for!

I've also been dealing with the double-sided sword that is fame. ever since i was featured on the back page of a certain cycling publication this month...



Don't worry- being a fat kid in grammar school more than prepared my for the amount of anonymous hate and mockery this photo is going to get me. And while you people may THINK its fun to get accosted by attractive females every time i leave the G-damn house, it actually gets kind of old... wait, no it doesn't...


Now i know what you're dying to ask: How is the most famous mediocre cat 4 in the country going to train for a grueling season of "holja line" park races as well as hilly out of town races that he'll probably get dropped on?

Aside from a few rocky-style training montages, I've been hitting the trainer and the gym quite a bit when it's been below freezing. as riding the trainer is a miserable, lonely affair, I've been inviting friends over for "trainer dates," also known as "indoor trainer gang bangs." Everyone's favorite cat 3 sandbagger Colin Prensky joined me a few times, which i guess mean's we're going steady (he likes to spoon afterward)



Also, after suffering through 10 months of a baconless existence last year, I've decided that i will ESPECIALLY eat bacon this year! i just found out that bacon has Omega 6's in it- those are twice as good as omega 3's right?! they should invent more things that are delicious AND good for you.



The next few weeks are going to be full of training, and my first big race, the Rouge Roubaix, is only 21 days away. I did this 100 mile bastard of a race last year. Think Battenkill x 2, with rougher roads and shorter, steeper climbs, and then put the entire thing on in the middle of deliverance country in Louisiana and Mississippi. you get the idea. It's an insanely epic race that's laughably early in the season. It's also one of the best races I've competed in. Last year i came in 20th, including a flat tire and a pee break (i have the bladder of a 4 year old). This year, I'm racing with a vengeance. Roubaix tires have been purchased, and I have no qualms about going boom-boom or wee-wee in my bibs this time (bike shorts are pretty much just spandex diapers anyway, right?)




in order to get ready for the upcoming season, and to get out of the city, I'm flying out to Tucson, AZ to take part in our coach's training camp. i'll be out there riding for 5 days, up and down Mount Lemmon, crying and whining about how much i hate hills. hopefully this will transform my racing form from mediocre to a little better than mediocre. we're staying in a huge mansion in Tucson that Roger rented, complete with pool, hot tub, and sauna. Bonus- Apparently this house has also been used to film some movies that I've probably already seen on redtube, so you know it's got character! I'm just going to have to check the room with a blacklight before i go to sleep...



Tomorrow morning I'm celebrating president's day by making my way to Westwood Velo at the buttcrack of dawn to have a fitting session and Lactate Balance point test with Roger. Then it'll be TOC time. Just you wait and see- Big George is going to win a stage this week, and then dedicate it to me, his biggest fanboy (stalker).

photo by Ken Conley- kwc.org

FGX Racing Press Release

FGX Racing Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

January 19, 2009- We are pleased to announce the formation of a new sub-team within the CRCA. FGX Racing will be making its presence known in the Cat 3 and 4 fields next year (as if the club needed another cat 4 squad! Sorry!) The initial 17 man roster, made up of 5 cat 3’s and 12 cat 4’s, will compete in a variety of disciplines on the 2009 season.

The team’s main sponsor, First Global Xpress, Is one of the best air couriers in New York City for international specialty shipping. Their business model for shipping puts less carbon dioxide into the environment, creates less waste, and uses fewer resources than shipping with FedEx, DHL, and UPS. Ship Greener, Ship Direct with First Global Xpress!

The team’s shop sponsor is NYC Velo, one of the city’s coolest and most environmentally friendly bike shops. Located on the Lower east side of Manhattan, NYC Velo caters to all types of cyclists, including roadies, mountain bikers, fixed gear freestylers, and cyclocrossers. They also have a sweet messenger bag selection. True Story.

The Team’s official chamois cream and embrocation sponsor is none other than Sportique Active Body and Skincare products. When asked to comment about the generous chamois cream sponsorship, Cat 4 team member Christophe Jammet openly wept, saying “I’ve never been so happy in my life! Our whole team will never again have to deal with the nightmare of a saddle sores!”

Team kits are being supplied by Hincapie Sportswear, and they look just plain fabulous.

FGX Racing is also pleased to announce the addition of Team Coach, Roger Aspholm from Finkraft Coaching. Roger is one of the best Elite level Masters racers in the country, has won many of the big races in the Northeast, and just recently became a National Cyclocross champion. The team is extremely excited to be working with him, both on an individual level and as a team.

Both the cat 3 and cat 4 squads plans on racing aggressively and will actively race in park races, larger out of town races, Time Trials, and Cyclocross races. Each Teammate brings something unique to the table and the entire team aims to exemplify the balance between racing hard, training hard, working selflessly as a team, being environmentally responsible, and having fun!

We’ll see you at the start line in March!

Team Roster:

“Super-Duper” Cat 3 Squad:

Justin Brown

Steve Brownlie

Adam Duncan

Andreas Gipp

Chris Shaw

“Wham-Bam-Thankya-M’am” Cat 4 Squad

Zak Abdullah

Mike Beckerman

Chad Casselman

Tim Rogers

Christophe Jammet

Alvin Poblacion

Rob Haber

Patrick Littlefield

David Trumpf

Reggie Rasch

Andrew Lawrence

Clay Thurmond

Team Website coming soon!

Please visit our sponsors below:

http://www.fgxusa.com

http://www.nycvelo.com

http://www.sportique.net

http://www.finkraftcoaching.com

http://www.hincapiesports.com

Team Contact: Christophe Jammet - cjammet@gmail.com

Staten CX- the best DFL

It's taken a good long while, but i think i needed some time to reflect on the race.

Staten CX ripped through NYC on November 30th. Jed, myself, and John put everything into this race and it paid off. I've never been prouder to be part of something like this. This whole event speaks volumes about the New York 'Cross scene, my friends, and the people that came together to make this race the awesome new nyc tradition that it will surely become.

I'm wary of taking too much credit for putting this race on (and that's rare coming from me,) but this race happened because of my friends and the greater cycling community here. this race was everyone's baby. We had incredible sponsors, fantastic press coverage, amazing volunteers (i owe you all big time...), fantastic music, great food, a killer course, awesome photos, and great racers all come together for a good cause.



putting this race on made me realize that if you really like what you're doing, you can do great things. it doesn't feel like work. you want to do it. we did so much work for this, but it didnt feel like a chore. Weeks after the race, i'm left with a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction, and i want to do it again (and we will).

I'm going to pull a move usually reserved by hip-hop grammy winners- time for long winded thank you's (its' a long list)

Jed



jed got the idea of putting on a cross race. we've been partners in this through and through. putting this race on together also made us close friends. i'm totally pumped to put more races on with him next year.

John Cutler



the lone ranger in the full CRCA kit and (kind of) matching 14-year-old-girl rollerblade helmet, john jumped in to help the cause out of nowhere. he's was responsible for getting us a ton of sponsors, including the FREE belgian wafels (more on that later), and also getting the race course equipment to staten island.

The Sponsors

Honest Tea showed up and supplied their great beverages.



Schaller & Weber Provided sustenance in the form of amazing sausages.



Wellshire Farms accosted us with 25 lbs of delicious, dry-rubbed bacon (drool).



Thomas Degeest, owner of Wafels & Dinges, sent some waffle men over to give out free waffles.



The waffles were free thanks two two great sponsors: Visitflanders.us (thanks Elke!), and Velo Classic tours (visit belgium! ride the cobbles!). Visitflanders and Velo classic also came to the race and added some belgian culture to our race village.

Chef Matt Sigel made sure the brats and bacon were nice and hot.

Kendra dropped furious beats and put on a euro-trash techno party in between races.



Cadence sent their team of crack mechanics (complete with Fu-manchu mustachio) to make sure the bikes survived the epic course conditions. they also came with 6 BMC demo bikes, which allowed for a ton of people (like Lisa Force!) to try out cross for the first time.



thanks to their bikes, a ton of people are going to buy a bike next season and race cross!


Claudette Lajam from orthochick.net made sure the ladies were taken care of and put in for Ladies-only primes. Robert Dvorin was another great sponsor and put in for additional Food and i believe some primes.

Jan from Sportique sent me a ton of great chamois cream and embrocation to give out as prizes.



Andrew crooks from NYC Velo donated a ton of great schwag to the prize list, as did Tandems east and Toga! john's friend Gus was a huge help and brought over Myles' Step ins and barriers all the way from Southampton. Myles did us a big favor by lending us his cross course equipment- a buttload of step ins and a pair of barriers.



Friends



The best thing i took away from this race was the affirmation that i've got the best friends in the world. they all helped in so many ways- whether it was gathering Step-ins in wet 35 degree rain after the race, getting the word out about the race, bringing in bacon sponsors, etc. So, i owe a beer and one (1) lewd act to each of the following people:



Kendra- DJ extrardinaire/Trophy assistant/podium girl


Kyle Peepo- He's Prussian, you know
Evie - sandbagging step-in-gatherer
Patrick littlefield- announcer/wino
Jason Gay- bacon intermediary- also did the write up for velo news
Rich bravo, Hott sam, Beth Renaud, Tony Slokar, Jed's Parents, brian gatens- (course setup)



Austin Horse, Evan Chalfin, Bret Vaughan- HUGE. course breakdown
Heidi Reijm- registration ALL STAR.
Lindsay Paluska and corinne Karmiel- podium girls, etc
Alan Atwood- officiating and facilitating USA cycling permit stuff. also helped with course logistics
Patrick wilder- PDX transplant! helped design the course- added some PDX flava'
Josh Creem- donated a sweet cyclosportif winner's jersey (which roger aspholm now owns- obviously)
the paparazzi: Maria Q (sweet video!), Anthony Skorochod, Liam Quigley, Kevin Dillard, david Chomowicz, Claudette Lajam, Jerry Kapkow, Eloy Anzola, and Harry Zernike
Colin Prensky- sandbagger extraordinaire
Lauren Zucker- for lending me her crazy Yellow Pickup Truck
The CRCA (notably Mike Green, Ken Harris, "Evil" Matt Howard)- for backing the event- this race was as much a CRCA event as it was an NYC event!


I want to thank the racers that showed up- we had over DOUBLE the pre-reg of any race that day in the north-east- 119 pre-reg'ed and a bunch more same-day. you guys braved the elements and came out to race in perfect, miserable Belgian weather. you made the race fun and duked it out on the course. Nice job to everyone- Especially to those who tried 'cross for the first time- what a day to try it! you experienced 'cross at its best and worst: the mud, the wind, the rain, the cold, the people cheering, the food, the music, and the attitude. The whole scene is what its all about. As Barry Wicks said- anyone can put on a 'cross race. But for it to be fun, you've got to embrace the right atmosphere. We had just that on November 30th, and it was thanks to all of the people i mentioned above



and a BIG thank you to the NYC Parks department- Sarah Frazier, Sandra Fernandez, Vincent, and Laurie. the parks department was a HUGE help, and this race could not have happened without their support. their willingness to help and their level of accommodation was astounding. From the entire new york cyclocross community- THANK YOU!



As for my race, well there's not way to sugar coat it: i came in DFL in my own race! DFL! I know. apparently 2 hrs of sleep has an effect on my performance. instead of coming in 3rd to last, i came in dead last. and of course colin prensky had to win the damn thing.... Next time i'm putting that guy into the tape...



By the way, i love how different his blogging is from my own. He reports from the front of the pack, I report from the middle/back. He waxes poetic on the spirit of competition and winning, i make fart/bacon/poop jokes. i think it's awfully complimentary...

Putting this race on was a great experience through and through- i made some great contacts, new friends in the cycling scene, and i was able to spend time in a borough that i had barely visited! Staten Island is a mythical, elusive, and funny place. it was the perfect setting for our race, and hopefully will be for years to come.

As for next year, watch out. We've got big plans. cool stuff is on the way. i think you're goin to like it...

Oh god it's everywhere

On a whole, the north east cycling scene has had it pretty easy when it comes to inclement weather. hell, the first really rainy, horrible, muddy, wet, disgusting race of the season for me happened last week at beacon 'cross. it was kind of a blessing.



Since I missed dressing up for a Halloween CX race this year, i decided to do it a week late and blame daylight savings! Tony, Kyle, and I drove to Beacon last week with my Mario suit expecting a total shit show, and I for one can say that I wasn't disappointed. The Beacon race was one of the harder races of the season. Maybe it was a combination of the rain, mud, huge steps, and sand traps, but i was completely thrashed after that race. I practically needed a step ladder to get up those amphitheater steps! for some reason I'm guessing that the stairs in Ryan Trebon's house are about that size. Good for him, not so good for Baldy McShorty over here...



My performance at HPCX the next day was a joke. my new goal in CX racing has gone from trying to place to trying to not let Andrew Crooks lap me...




I'm a big fan of technical clothing- spandex/roubaix/dryfit is awesome. Denim, while tough, is also a great fabric to wear in the rain... In oppositeland. The rain inundated my Mario overalls with so much water that i felt like a bloated pregnant woman. i was carrying at least 15 lbs of extra water weight, and was craving rocky road ice cream with pickles... The denim also stuck to my legs and made it quite hard to pedal. That being said- dressing up as Mario for a cross race when its not even Halloween is plain awesome.

Fast forward to this weekend- the USGP at Mercer. last year this was a pretty fun course, with a huge pit and a fly-over. the race was wide, sweeping, and fast. The weather was generally agreeable and it was a great time. This year it was a completely different race. it was like we were racing in Portland.



I've been saying all year that i wanted to race in horrifically muddy conditions, and I got what i asked for. The best way I can describe the last two days of racing is by using the term "Mud Bukkake." I mean, it was everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I mean, look at Jed- Someone get him a moist towelette or something...

photo by Anthony Skorochod

Day 1

photo by Anthony Skorochod

After a late start due to me getting rides from hungover people (cough, cough Slokar), we just barely made it in time. As we pulled up to the park, the C race had started. I noticed people running on flat sections. It was that muddy. People were completely covered in mud, and it was windy and rainy, but not that cold. I quickly slapped on my skinsuit and ran to staging. i got there just as they called my name- 3rd row, not to shabby! I looked around and saw the normal cast of characters that had made this season so fun. This was the calm before the slop-storm.

The whistle went off, and it was the usual mad dash for the start line. I had an ok position going into the hole shot. once we entered the course, the mud started right away. Last year the fly-over and the long sand pits were the challenging parts of the course. This year, they were the easiest parts. (note the "oh shit" face)

photo by Anthony Skorochod

Every other part of the course was inundated with mud. You had to plant your ass as far back as you could and just slog along.




I ended up DNFing thanks to ex-C field sandbagger Sam Fiorno... i crossed the line and the official indicated that i had 1 lap to go. Sam was just ahead of me. as we rode into the course again he said that they pulled him from the race and that we were done- I was as eager to do an extra lap as i was to get intimate with Star Jones, so I didn't argue. Lo and behold, we both got DNF'ed. that's too bad, because i was in contention for 40th place... This is serious, man!



The aftermath of the race was hilarious- we all looked as though we went spulunking in a septic tank. i had to hose my bike off twice just to get it clean.



I was so muddy from slopping through the mud like a pig that my chamois was covered in it when i peeled off my skinsuit (kind of like taking the skin off of a weisswurst).




And yes, I'm like 80% sure it was mud. shut up.


after cleaning off, we ran to a fantastic NJ Diner where i tried scrapple for the first time. The best way i can describe Scrapple is that it's the Foie Gras of New Jersey. It somehow manages to be both delicious and horrific at the same time...




After our trashy, delicious feast, we made a beer stop and rushed back to the race. We had some 'drinkin to do, people to heckle, and, oh yeah, Fliers to hand out for the Kick-ass CX race that's happening on Nov 30th!

when the Elite men came on, we were 2 six packs into some Belgian-style Tripels. For some reason our buddy Phil bought a UCI license... He stepped it up and played with the big boys in one of the hardest races of the season. I think that warrants a beer hand-up...


Sure, Shaking the can of Bud for 5 minutes and then opening it in his face as he rode by may have been a bit douchey- but you know what? That Phil Riggio is a CHAMP. he grabs the can from me, pours the rest on his head, CRUSHES the can on his helmet, and rides away. That, my friends, is Pro as shit (.dk)



Day 2




I didnt think it was possible, but somehow day 2 was worse. it was 40 degrees with 30 mph winds, and there had been ANOTHER torrential downpour on sat night. The ground was even more inundated with mud. it was so bad that the race organizers cut the course in half because it was "unrideable." What was considered "rideable" was pretty comical...

But first, I'd like to point out how important it is to properly embrocate before cold races. it's an important ritual that ever CX'er should hold sacred. the rub-down of embro on one's pale legs is essential to any decent CX experience. And if you're Croatian like Tony, you probably like embrocating your eyeballs and gums.



By the way, This week's Embrocation and Chamois cream was brought to you by SportsBalm (review to come).




As we waited in staging, 35 mph winds whipped around us and made the whole B field shiver. We knew what was to come. this was going to be miserable. why were we all still here? We could have just gone to brunch! But no- we were all standing there in spandex skinsuits, freezing and waiting for a whistle to blow so that we could bike and run through a giant pig pen wrapped in caution tape. Why?




The crux of this sport is suffering. Not just suffering due to self-imposed exertion, but rather suffering through pitting yourself to a tough environment as well as other people. You're not just racing other people- you're fighting your surroundings. Mud swallows your wheels and bogs down your bike. Barriers and run-ups block your way and make your life all the more difficult. But everyone in that field is pushing themselves as hard as they can- not just to try and best their peers, but to overcome the course itself. A good number of people didn't finish on Sunday. But everyone who did finish pushed themselves to their limits, and I think that's where the satisfaction lies in this sport. I think its easy to be complacent in a road race if one wants. It's alot harder to do so in a 'Cross race.




racing on Sunday at Mercer was akin to biking and running through a mile-long turd-covered slip'n'slide. Every part of this course was grueling and treacherous. it was slow and painful, and full of slop. It was the hardest 'cross race i've ever done. It was also the most satisfying.




After Tony had had enough of racing throug the slop, he decided he'd have more fun by throwing beer at me and heckling me for losing to a triathlete...




I guess i really wanted a muddy sh*tshow for the very novelty of it. the after-shots of muddy races are fantastic, and it just adds to the difficulty and drama of 'cross. that being said, slogging through mud makes a race exponentially harder. It's completely saps your energy. you grind through slop at 3 miles per hour, pedaling at 35 rpm. A friend of mine who was watching yesterday said it was the slowest cross race he had ever seen. the mud was so thick on most of the flat sections that you had to run them.



As we drove back from a mud, beer, and scrapple filled weekend, I became a little sad that the cross season is nearly over. This year has been more fun than I've had yet, and it wasn't just because of the racing: it was because of the friends that I've been racing with for the past two months. Everyone has been having fun and riding their bikes without pretense or elitism, but competing. I can only hope people carry over some of that attitude into the 2009 road season, because it'll make it that much better.


By the way, for all you NYCX'ers- I'm organizing a CX practice on Wed, Nov 19 @ 530 AM- meet at the entrance to the park on 72nd and 5th. we'll do a warm up lap and then do drills on the northwest side of the park near Harlem hill. You know you want to. Anyway- Balki will be there- how can you say no??

Making the race- Staten 'Cross

It's totally my fault, but i forgot to mention on my blog that I'm organizing a cyclocross race! Between racing, work, and organizing the damn thing, i never got around to posting it on here! Well, here it goes.

There had been a ton of talking within NYCX community about putting our own race on. everyone was into the idea, but actually following through is a completely different story. there were just so many variables to consider. Where would we have it? would we get permission from the Parks department? was there enough interest? was there a date left in the 'cross season that didn't conflict with a big, established race?

Little by little, it started falling into our lap. Jamie Bogner from NYCMTB had found a small gem of a park in Staten Island. He went to check out Wolfe's Pond Park and thought it was a great spot. Now all we needed to do was get permission from the parks department. I really was prepared for that to be a total waste our time. From what i had heard in the past and with CRCA races in central park, the parks department was pretty strict and extremely sensitive about their lawns. Obviously they would have no problem at all with letting hundreds of cross bikes tear up park land! We decided to give it a shot anyway and reached out a new acquaintance i had made in the Parks Department (Thanks Michael and Marjory!) Although i was prepared to deal with a bureaucratic nightmare, i was instantly proved wrong. Getting a permit for the even was easier than i ever thought it could be.

We drove over the the park last thursday to meet with the Park's Manager and the event coordinator. The manager was a Staten Island native named "Vincent" who had a pristine S.I. Accent and had worked in the park's department for years. we started to carefully explain that bikes would be ridden on the grass, but that we would make every effort to not damage it and use well-traveled parts of the lawn. Vinny Smiled and said "There is nothing you could do on those bikes that would mess up my lawn."

oh, it's like that. That's a Challenge.

Moral of the story: Vinny is awesome. The Parks People were so accomodating that we were a bit taken aback. where was the bureaucracy? where was the hard time? They have pretty much given us carte Blanche to put on an awesome race!



The Park itself is perfect for a 'cross race: TWO Parking lots, Bathrooms, Hoses, Electricity, Grass, Mountain Bike trails, and a Beach. this course is going to have it all, and its going to bring it.

Here's the deal on the race:

Date: Sunday, November 30th

The race is on Staten Island- a mysterious and magical place, easily accessible from New Jersey, Long Island, and the rest of the Metro area.

The race is on November 30th- the weekend right after Thanksgiving, and the Day after the New Jersey 'Cross Championships. This will be one of the last race weekends you can double up on before nationals come around!

Why come to our race?

* Come and support the growing 'cross scene in the NYC area. Every year, more and more people get into cyclocross, making it more popular than ever. NYC has been without a cross race for far too long, so be a part of something historic!

* Come for the awesome course we put together. With the help of some Portland CX expertise, the course we've designed promises to be challenging- we've got something for everyone: A 100 Meter Beach run (the course is right on the water), a Circle of Death, barriers, a rooty-rutted-leaf covered run up, and some good old-fashioned tree-slaloms. Here's the Map:

* Come for the Prizes- Awesome trophies, Cash for Elite men/women/masters, and great merchandise from NYC Velo, Cadence Cycling and Multisport Centers, Sportique Skincare, and Honest Tea, as well as some "Staten Island ONLY" Premes.

* Killer jams by DJ Kendra, who will be dropping beats all day.

* The Park is easily accessible by car or public Transportation- Take the Ferry to Staten Island then take the Staten Island Rail to the Prince's Bay Stop. The Ferry allows bikes, and you should be good to go on the Staten Island Rail.

* Any profits from the race will be donated to Ichallengemyself (http://ichallengemyself.org/) - a nonprofit dedicated to fighting childhood obesity and getting disadvantaged youths on bikes.

* Come work off the marathon binge eating session you will have just gone through after T-day. We know we'll need to…

All info can be found on BikeReg.com:

http://www.bikereg.com/events/register.asp?eventid=7298

REGISTER!! Do it for BACON! Do it for GLORY!

Big Thanks to the CRCA, Alan Atwood, The NYC Parks Department (thanks Vinny and Sarah!), Cadence Cycling and Multisport Centers, NYC Velo, Sportique, and Honest Tea. This race would not be happening had it not been for the support of these people and sponsors. buy their stuff if they sell it!